Asshole
by kevin the bird
Summary: "I would like me better too if I changed my diaper," she said. When she was close enough to Brian, she took the one-year-old into her arms. She placed him on her hip and Gus stopped crying almost immediately. "What an asshole," Brian said as he watched Gus look up at Debbie with tear filled eyes, a soft hiccup escaping his body.


When Brian was asked to watch a one-year-old Gus, he was sure he would be able to handle it. Gus was older, so Brian figured it would be easier then when he was an infant, but he was proven very wrong. He couldn't get the little fucker to quiet down long enough to feed him and he wasn't sure what it was that was making him cry, so he figured he would go to the diner and get some help from Debbie. He didn't want to go to Mel or Lindsey because he was worried that if they knew he couldn't get Gus to stop crying, they would never let him watch his son again. So he drove Gus over to Liberty Avenue and within minutes, he was walking through the doors of the Liberty Diner, Gus still screaming bloody murder. Debbie, who was across the diner, looked over her shoulder when she heard the blood curdling screams and was surprised when she saw Brian walk in with Gus. It wasn't something she ever expected to see, especially after the fiasco that was the last time he babysat Gus.

When the screaming continued, Debbie walked over to the man she considered her son while she put her pen and pad in her apron pocket. When she got closer to Brian, she got a whiff of Gus' diaper, which was probably why he was screaming so loudly.

"Brian, honey," she said. "Have you ever thought that maybe the reason he's crying is because you need to change his diaper? I can smell him from across the diner," she added as she sympathetically looked at the baby in Brian's arms. It was clear that Brian was still new to the parenting thing. Brian looked down at Gus, realization dawning on him. He looked up at Debbie and gave her a look that said he didn't know how to change a diaper. He then looked back down at his son.

"I think it's Grandma's turn to change your diaper, huh," he said to Gus. Gus continued crying. Debbie looked at Brian and crossed her arms against her chest and shifted her weight to one foot. "Please?" Brian asked. "I can't take his screaming any longer." Debbie thought over Brian's offer. He needed to learn to change a diaper eventually, so it was only fair that he should change it, but on the flip side, she knew that because he had never changed a diaper, there was a chance he could fuck it up. She unfolded her arms and outstretched them, silently agreeing to change him. Gus wasn't biologically her grandson, but since she practically raised Brian herself, she considered him her son, so it was only fair that she considered his son her grandson.

"Hi, honeybun," she said to Gus, who was still wailing. "Hand me his diaper bag," she ordered Brian. He did as he was told and watched her walk to the back to change him. A few minutes passed when Debbie came back with a baby that wasn't crying anymore. Everyone in the diner started clapping when they noticed Debbie with a content baby. She smiled as she walked back to Brian so she could pass him his son.

"Thank you, Ma," Brian said as he kissed Debbie on the head while she passed Gus to him.

"You're welcome, baby," Debbie replied as she softly patted Gus on the back when he was safely back in his father's arms. She looked around and walked over to the people who had just sat down at a booth and took their order. She then walked over to the window looking into the kitchen and put their order on the turn wheel. That's when Gus' screaming started back up. He didn't want anything to do with Brian. There was an audible sigh from the diner.

"Deb," Brian practically whined. "Can you take him again? I think he likes you better," he said. Debbie walked back to Brian as she rolled her eyes.

"I would like me better too if I changed my diaper," she said. When she was close enough to Brian, she took the one-year-old into her arms. She placed him on her hip and Gus stopped crying almost immediately.

"What an asshole," Brian said as he watched Gus look up at Debbie with tear filled eyes, a soft hiccup escaping his body. Debbie started rubbing Gus' back as she smiled up at Brian. He was secretly glad that at least now there was a way to quiet Gus down.

"Just like his father," she said. Brian mockingly laughed at Debbie's remark.

"I don't get it, you're not even his mother," Brian said, a little stumped as to why Gus stopped crying for Debbie. "Is it some universal maternal thing that all mothers have?" Debbie just laughed.

"I think it's just you, honey," Debbie said teasingly. "I think Gus knows you're new to parenting, so he's exploiting it. He can smell it on you."

"He really is an asshole," Brian said, matching Debbie's teasing tone. Now that his diaper was changed, he started to whimper like he was hungry. Debbie looked down at the baby. She had stopped rubbing his back a minute or two before, so she took it back up again.

"What's the matter now, sweetheart?" she asked softly. Brian knew this time it was because he was hungry, so he grabbed the canned baby food and spoon from the diaper bag and handed it to Debbie. Debbie took it and looked up at Brian. "Wow, he's learning," she said teasingly. Brian just rolled his eyes as Debbie laughed and took a seat in the booth she was standing next to. She placed Gus so he was sitting on top of the table. She then opened up the canned food and started feeding him. That's when Brian took a seat across from Debbie and watched her feed his son. The rest of Debbie's shift was then spent intermittently doing her job and the rest of it was spent taking care of Gus while Brian took a break.


End file.
